the malfatti problem. my life in the singularity.

Okay, new rule. When I decide that I’m not going to eat after 9:00p, that doesn’t mean I should eat twice as much for dinner. What happened to will power?

11:30pm - Home via Wegmans
Chicken Caesar Wheat Wrap

2:45pm - Jines Restaurant
Hummus & Pita Appetizer
Grilled Chicken & Pesto Sandwich w/ Fries

7:30pm - Home
Bowl Cheerios
Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Three Slices French Toast (on Challah)
A Take 5 (damn, you Rico!)

I’ve got Five Bucks says the hunger bug will strike again before I make it to bed …

“Really? That’s funny. I’ve got a ten that says pass the pepper. I’ve got two quarters singing harmony on ‘Moonlight in Vermont‘ - ”
“What?”
“Talking money.”
“A talking monkey?”
“A talking monkey, yea. Came here from the future. Ugly sucker. Only says ‘ficus’.”

… this is what happens …

“Let’s talk about Mex, Jamey
Let’s talk about Joel, Danny
Let’s talk about Paul and Greg things
Noelle and John things
Kate and Pete
Let’s talk about Mex
Let’s talk about Mex“

- -
“No comedian you’ve ever admired has been afraid of silence.”

from howstuffworks.com:

If you want to get poetic about it, pastrami is a way of going back in time. So is cheese, for that matter. Pastrami is a technology for preserving meat that our ancestors used before refrigerators. Cheese falls into the same category — cheese is a non-refrigerated technology for storing milk. It turns out that pastrami and cheese both happen to taste good, so they are still very popular even though the preservation technology they each represent is no longer needed.

Prior to refrigeration, killing a large animal like a cow or a pig presented a problem. Either you had to have a huge party so you could eat the whole thing at once, or you had to find a way to preserve it. About the only way to preserve meat prior to the 20th century was by salting. If you add enough salt to meat, you kill all the bacteria in the meat and can preserve it for a very long time. There are two ways to get salt into meat. You can coat the outside of the meat with dry salt and let the salt diffuse into the meat over several weeks. This is called dry curing. Or, you can make a salty brine (salty enough for a potato to float in) and let the meat soak in it for several weeks. There’s still some possibility of spoilage — the thing you have to worry about is bacterial problems during the time it takes the salt to penetrate. The easiest solution to that problem is to do your salting in the winter so you can take advantage of nature’s refrigerator for a few weeks.

To make pastrami, you start by making corned beef. Corned beef is a beef brisket soaked in brine (with some sugar and spices). According to “The Joy of Cooking,” corned beef “has nothing to do with corn but got its name…when a granular salt the size of a kernel of wheat — corn to a Briton — was used to process it.” By smoking corned beef, you turn it into pastrami! Smoking adds flavor to the meat.

In today’s Making Fun of Alex I will be showing you how to make some Bachelor Cusine …

Ingredients:

2 Slices Bread (White or Wheat)
2 Pats Butter
1 Knife-Full Peanut Butter
1 Plate

Utilities:
1 Toaster Oven
1 Butter Knife
1 Counter-Top

First start with the bread. I used Wegman’s Giant White, but feel free to use any sliced bread you like.

Place the slices one at a time into the Toaster Over (or toaster, if you’ve not a toaster oven … barbarian). Set heat to desired temperature (i prefer mine just below medium). And start toasting.

While the toast is browning …

… prepare the toppings. For this, I use Smucker’s Natural Chunky Peanut Butter and a stick of Wegman’s Salted Butter.

By now, the toaster oven should have clicked and the bread toasted to your liking …

Place your Peanut Butter one on toasted slice, and the Butter on another.

Spread to your liking and Voila! A Bachelor’s Cuisine for you to enjoy!

Don’t forget the Milk and Twinkie side-dish …

Until next time, here’s to you Alex! And Bon Appetite!